Morton Loves Everybody: December 2006

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Morton's New Year's Holla-Rama

You-oo-00! I wanna be like you-oo-oo....

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Danger Monkey!

SSSssss---------------
dun dun dundun dun dun dundun
dun dun dundun dun dun dundun
doodle-ooooo, doodle-ooooo, doodle-oooo, doodle!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Monday, December 25, 2006

Monkey at the Manger

Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh, Apple Sauce (with cinnamon!)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Okay, if Morton really loves everybody, does that include bad people?

Yes!

But they're bad!

Morton has two kinds of love. Kissy love for good people and poopy love for bad people .

Poopy love?

It means Morton throws his love poop at them. To show his love.

And this is just for bad people?

No. It's also for bears and ocelets and sometimes for good people, if Morton eats too much chili.

What do you have against bears and ocelots?

Nothing! Morton loves them! Pay attention!

Okay, so, say, Osama bin Laden, he gets....?

Triple-strength poopy love!

But Katie Couric?

Kissy love!

And Bobby Orr?

Kissy love!

And Sailor Moon Jupiter?

Kissy kissy love!

What about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

Ha ha! Made-up name!

Or Sheik Hassan Nasrallah?

Made-up name!

Or Tom Brokaw?

Made-up name!

What about Angus ibn Wahrscheinlichkeit LeWong-McToodleskrakenbush?

Triple kissy love! And poopy love for his pet ocelot!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

This is NOT Funny

Stop it! Right NOW!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Morton Cuts a Wide Swath of Destruction!

No, no, no, it was LIKE this when Morton GOT here!!!!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Morton Plays Innocent

It was like this when Morton got here!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Christmas Is For Monkeys!

Because monkeys = love!!!!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Morton Worries About Britney Almost Every Day Now

Monday, December 18, 2006

Ask Morton

What would Morton do about the Middle East?

Move it over a little so it's not always in the way.

I'm talking about the region of the world known as the Middle East.

Oh.

What were you talking about?

Never mind.

So, does Morton have a solution to the war in the Middle East?

Unlimited monkey hugs!!!!!!

Are you sure that would work?

Absolutely positively absolutely!

How many monkeys would you need for that?

A lot.

And how many hugs would each monkey be responsible for every day?

Three.

So, that's a lot of monkeys times three hugs a day which equals....?

World peace!

You're a wise monkey.

Morton is tired now.