Morton Performs Very Clever

Morton will now do his imitation of the Black-Capped Chickadee, a small, plump, small-billed bird that feeds on insects, seeds, acorn mast and berries and ranges throughout Alaska, Canada and the northern half of the United States.

Ahem.

"Fee-bee-bee! Fee-bee-bee! Tsick-zee-zee-zee!"

Ha ha ha! Morton was actually imitating a Mountain Chickadee, which ranges throughout southwestern Canada, the western United States and the northern portion of Baja, California!

Morton is laughing so hard, he made fizzy root beer come out his nose!

Ask Morton....

Can you do imitations?

Yes!

How about George Clooney?

He can do imitations too!

No, can you do a George Clooney imitation?

Yes! "Look at me! I'm George Clooney!"

What about James Woods?

"Look at me! I'm James Woods!"

Christopher Walken?

"Look at me! I'm Christopher Walken!"

Sandra Day O'Connor?

"Look at me! I'm Sandra Day O'Connor!"

William Faulkner?

"Look," the man said, and, in the lingering twilight heat, the cicadas madly screeching, I turned and saw all at once the half-remembered vision of the boy he had been, handsome and doomed, laid like a shroud on the ruined man, a feathery gauze through which the deep lines of his face and the purpled swollen veins and all the other landmarks of his debauchery blurred and faded, leaving only the boyish terror in his eyes, eyes which had once glimpsed fearfully his future ruination, but had refused to believe, only to see now, in the startling shimmer of heat, the inescapable truth and now wishing not to believe and to forget, but not forgetting any more than the young doomed man he had been could remember, so that memory and absence of memory were now intertwined as the vision of the young man settled like dew upon the ruins of the old. And I said, "Are you him?" And he said, "Yes."

Wow. That was pretty good. Can you do Ernest Hemingway?

"Look at me! I'm Ernest Hemingway!"

Morton's Dream Is...

...to be a snow monkey!

Thought For the Day

Morton could poop in this canyon every day for a whole year and no-one would even know! Morton feels very small.

Morton laughs at danger ha ha ha

Ask Morton....

Does Morton really love everybody?

Yes!

Everybody?

Yes! Yes!

Everybody, really?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Morton gives everybody everybody really really his unlimited monkey love!

Really?

Yes!

Who does Morton love most?

Baby Suri Cruise!

Who does Morton love second most?

Everybody else!

Who does Morton love third most?

Karl Lagerfeld!

Who does Morton love fourth most?

Everybody else!

Morton gets his kicks