The Legendary Beast Of Prague Is Finally Caged

RRRRRAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!!  (Rhymes with Prague.)

Morton Also Appreciates The Subtler Qualities Of Art

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  This is the awesomest statue OF ALL TIME!

Morton, Of Course, Appreciates The Beauty Of The Human Form

Pffft.  Big deal.  Morton almost never wears clothes.

In Addition, Morton Reveals The Following

Some of the people in Prague are spiky too!

Morton Reveals A Salient Feature

Lots of the buildings in Prague are spiky.

Morton Makes An Unusual Find

This is the part of Prague known as "Topsyturvia"!

Like Any Expert Guide, Morton Isn't Afraid To Point Out The City's Occasional Flaws

Some parts of Prague are too flat for jumping.

Morton Takes A Moment To Revel

Morton is higher up than the trees!

Morton Soon Finds What's Best In The Ancient City

Prague is good for hopping.

Morton's Initial Observation Immediately Captures The Essence Of The City

Prague is reddish.

Morton Provides His Expert Guided Tour of Prague As A Public Service

Lesson 1: It's pronounced P-RRRRR-AAAHHHHH-G-G-G-G.  The "U" and the "E" are both silent.

Fall Is A Time For Morton To Celebrate The Bounty Of Nature

Morton loves these...tree...berries.

Morton Encounters The Mysterious And Terrifying Melted Toffee Man

To some, you are a super villain, but to Morton, you're just plain super!

Morton Has Mysterious Plans For Midnight

Keep your stinking paws off of Morton's poster, you darned dirty ape!

Morton Continues To Improvise Whenever And Wherever He Can

Wheeeeee!!!!!!

Low Blood Sugar Brings Out Morton's Dark Side

Give candy to Morton or Morton presses the Button of Doom!

Famous Archaelogist Morton Makes His Stunningest Discovery To Date

In ancient Sumerian, this was called a "flippy disk".

Morton Remains Puzzled

For what? Other side for what?

Morton Narrowly Misses Catching His Nemesis

Stupid fence.

Morton Improvises When Necessary

All Morton needs now is water.

Morton Presents An Excerpt From His Well-Regarded, If Little Known Literary Epic "Red Licorice."

Once inside the candy shop, I stumbled and shuffled, half-mad with the perfume of the place, joyful, yet raging, for I was angry at the audacity of its existence, having only just emerged from the unsweet mud that caked me through my own child years and not ready to be confronted with the sweetness so abundantly available to, it seemed, every other child in existence, every race and creed and every capacity, given the freedom to enter here and fill themselves with the joyful scents, shades and flavours of hope and possibility so fully that, senses engorged by indulgence, they emerged into the blinding afternoon sun themselves shining, candied with it, the joy, hope and happiness, the sweet rain falling on all. And so it was that I knew what colour licorice I would buy. Not the bitterness of black or the strangeness of green or blue, but red, sweet blood red, red to remind myself of the unsugared days of blood and spit and hard earth and sweet to engender hope, fleeting, soft, sugary hope, ready to be washed away in the next dark rain, but, for now, sweet and good. And once I had those red vines in my hands, I ate them all, all of them, for that is who I was then and what I hungered for.

Morton, Video Game Archaelogist

The Tron people used what was called a "recognizer" or "reco." Morton expects to find light cycles someplace nearby any day now.

Morton Must Believe

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!

It's Nose

It's butt! Morton keeps his butt to the grindstone! Everybody knows it's butt!

Morton Is Either Testing His Secret Growth Formula Or His Secret Shrink Ray

You're squishing Morton!

Morton Will Never Explain How This Happened

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER!

No One Can Resist A Waterslide

Morton is doing this all day long!

Morton Shares This Moment With Everyone

Prrrrrrretty!

M Is For....

D'uh!

Morton's Friend Lydia Drew This

Morton can't tell the difference between the drawing Morton and the real Morton! Can you?