Sunday, May 22, 2011

Morton Ruins Shakespeare...Again.

Here's a knocking indeed! If an a monkey were
porter of Candy Gate, he should have old turning the
key. (Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there,
i' the name of the Licorice Man? Here's a little kitten, that lick'd
his cute little paws on th' expectation of plenty. Come in time!
Have napkins enow about you; here you'll sweat for't.
(Knock.) Knock, knock! Who's there, in the other
candy's name? Faith, here's a jelly bean man, that could 
Put a bunch of jelly beans on a scale, who put them in
a little bag for Morton, yet could  not take out the orange
ones that Morton doesn't like. O, come in, Jelly Bean Man.
(Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there? Faith,
here's an English toffee lady come hither, for giving 
Morton hard chewy treats: come in, Toffee Lady; even though
your candies sometimes hurt Morton's teeth. (Knock.
Knock, knock! Never at quiet! What are you? But this place is too 
ymmy looking for Morton. I'll candy-porter it no further: I had
thought to have let in some of all chocolate bar people that have
chocolate treats for Morton. (Knock.)   Anon, anon! [Opens the gate.
I pray you, remember the candy monkey .

Friday, May 20, 2011

Morton Will Wait As Long As Necessary

That's it.  Morton is tired.  Morton is leaving.  Morton is gone, little birds.  You can come out now.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Morton's Philosophy In A Nutshell

Especially for hugs and kisses and tickles and toys.

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Aftermath Was Exactly As Bad As Feared

Morton can't remember his name or where he throwed up.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Morton Enters A Realm Of Mystery

Is gris gris anything like gumbo?  Because Morton likes gumbo very much.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Mission Accomplished

Morton can go home now because there is nothing else to do in New Orleans, as far as he knows.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Morton Senses Something Nearby

Perhaps a stew which consists primarily of a strong stock, meat or shellfish, a thickener, and the vegetable "holy trinity" of celery, bell peppers, and onion.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

World Champion Underground Pinball Hustler Morton Talks Smack

This is Morton's house!  You're just visiting!  Have some pie and ice cream!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Morton Prefers To Call Him Heckboy

Morton has an itchy nose and needs a hero to scratch it!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Morton Chose The Wrong Day To Wear His Red Shirt

If "assimilate" means "kissing" in Borg, count Morton in!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Morton Unwittingly Attends The Dart Goalie Auditions

Morton doesn't like that expression on your face.  What are you up to?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Morton Calls This His "Backyard Estate"

Bring Morton his strawberry milkshake post-haste!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Not Ideal Outerwear For Morton's Current Situation

Morton doesn't care.  He loves his sweater and scarf even if he's trapped here forever!

Thursday, January 6, 2011