Morton Is, Perhaps, Not The Ideal Spokesmodel For This Product

It burned Morton's mouth and he throwed up right away!

New Year's Plans Are Set In Motion

Luckily, Morton has everybody in the whole world on speed dial.

Morton Sings The Famous Aria From Godzilla: The Opera (lyrics translated from the original Italian)

That was no ICE berg!
It was God-ZILL-ah!
Oh no, God-ZILL-ah!
Where is God-ZILL-ah!
There is God-ZILL-ah!
He's coming to EAT us!

Morton's Favourite Imaginary Christmas Memory (2009)

And then what happened, Uncle Bugs?

Battle of the Century!!!!!

Savage wild puppy versus alien ice monster!

Morton's Christmas Card #9

Santa! Santa! It's Morton! Over here! Over here!

Morton's Christmas Card #8

Morton got exactly what he asked for! EXACTLY!

Morton's Christmas Card #7

A hint, in case you haven't gotten Morton his present yet. Morton is an art lover.

Morton's Christmas Card #6

This is the album cover for our Christmas duets CD "Morton Sings Stuff With The Happy Holiday Monkey."

Morton's Christmas Card #5

You're super right, Mister Orangy!

Morton's Christmas Card #4

And this is the night version. (Morton is down here!)

Morton's Christmas Card #3

Morton's plan is to have a tree that looks Christmas-y in day or night. (This is the day version.)

Morton's Christmas Card #2

This is the basket where Morton normally keeps all his eggs.

Morton's Christmas Card #1

Luckily, Morton carries a string of Christmas lights with him wherever he goes. Just in case.

Secret Crimefighter Morton Captures A Dangerous Supervillain

Using the pink ribbons of justice!

The Monkey Olympics Finally Find A Home

That's one bedroom for each monkey event!

Morton Narrowly Avoids Becoming A Cautionary Tale

This fence is too high and Morton wants lunch. Oh well.

Paradise Is...

A basket full of stinky cheese!

Morton, Paleo-horticulturist

These are totally dinosaur leaves!

As Part Of His Usual Saturday Routine, Morton Gathers The Local Woodland Creatures And Stages A Re-enactment of the Battle of Alesia

Fine. Morton won't be Julius Caesar this time. Morton will be Vercingetorix instead. Is everybody happy now?

For Morton, A Pile Of Leaves Is Actually....

A sleeping mastadon. Shhhh.

Morton Demonstrates His Thesis

See? More monkey is better!

Morton Dispenses Helpful Advice

Your picture needs more monkey in it. Wait!

A Rare Encounter

Ice whales!!!!!

Intrepid Investigator Morton Uncovers Gordon's Latest Nefarious Scheme

He has finally gathered his Xmas tree army of doom! Morton warned you this would happen!

Morton Expounds Upon A Theory

This is the filing cabinet where Santa keeps all his files on naughty children, but there were no naughty children this year, which is why he throwed it away.

Morton Takes Everything To The Extreme

Woo hoo!!!!!!

Morton's Tarzan Game Goes Wrong Surprisingly Quickly This Time

Stop laughing!

Morton Opens A New Business

Open 24 hours! Or longer for really big cars!

Morton Reminisces

Boy, Halloween was great! Wasn't it? It was so great. All that candy. Wow. Just wow.

Then Morton Demonstrates The Secondary Feature Of The Dual Function Mushroom Bed

It makes shade, like a sombrero.

Morton Demonstrates The Primary Feature Of The Dual-Function Mushroom Bed

This is for getting a tan.

Battle Of The Century!!!!

Ninja Kitty erects legendary jazz hands defense maneuver against Man Monkey tickle attack!

Morton Judges The Latest Fashion

One looks chilly. The other looks shiny.

Battle Of The Century

Man Monkey versus Giant Lobster Army!!!!!!!

Morton's Friend Mister Haroun Helps Keep The Sun Out Of Morton's Eyes

We're napping! Shhhh!!!

The Winter Weather Encourages A Change In Plans

Sometimes, Morton prefers the inside jungle to the outside jungle.

Morton Sits On The Fine Line Between Bird Watching And Bird Stalking

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss. Morton is just practicing.

Morton Spins His Homespun Wisdom

All chocolate is candy, but not all candy is chocolate. Chocolate-coated candy is not the same as candy-coated chocolate, but both are types of candy. Candy apples are candy until all the candy is gone, then they're just apples. Fruit-shaped candy is almost always candy, except when it has too much fruit in it. Fructose and sucrose are made up words for candy.

An Improvised Swing Is All The Entertainment Morton Needs

Morton is like Winter Tarzan!

Morton Is A Flower Of Winter

Morton has an ouchie from the thorns, but he's still camouflaged, so he's not saying a word.

Morton Practices The Fine Art Of Winter Camouflage

The snow on Morton's nose is going to make him sneeze soon.

Morton Yearns The Day Away

It's been ages and ages since Morton had a snowball fight.

The Fate Of The Earth Comes Down To A Chance Discovery

Hello, mysterious purple alien pod cabbage! Would you like a kiss?

Where There's A Parade, There Is Also Morton

Morton wants to play the triangle! Bring Morton his triangle!

Morton Begins Confusing Lord of the Rings with The Neverending Story

Rockbiters! We march on Isengard, there to defeat Saruman!

Morton, You Are Not Aragorn

Am too! And you're supposed to call Morton "Strider" in this part! Orc-face!

Morton Goes Through Yet Another Tolkien Phase

Hush now! Mirkwood is no place for hobbits such as yourself. For it is said that giant spiders, the children of Ungoliant, roam these woods! Nay, go back to your shire, young halflings, before the sun sets and the true darkness of the forest envelopes you!

His Spiritual Journey Complete, Morton Returns To His True Purpose

Morton hopes there are clowns and puppies in this one!

At The End Of His Spiritual Journey, Morton Discovers A Fifth Noble Truth

Well, duh! It's sooooooo obvious!

His Search For Candy Thwarted, Morton Begins A Journey Of Spiritual Enlightenment

Morton plans to be a bodhisattva before lunch time.

Also Not Candy

But then where is the candy? Where is it?

Morton Displays His Keen Deductive Skills

They look like candy, but probably don't taste like candy.