Morton Is, Perhaps, Not The Ideal Spokesmodel For This Product

It burned Morton's mouth and he throwed up right away!

New Year's Plans Are Set In Motion

Luckily, Morton has everybody in the whole world on speed dial.

Morton Sings The Famous Aria From Godzilla: The Opera (lyrics translated from the original Italian)

That was no ICE berg!
It was God-ZILL-ah!
Oh no, God-ZILL-ah!
Where is God-ZILL-ah!
There is God-ZILL-ah!
He's coming to EAT us!

Morton's Favourite Imaginary Christmas Memory (2009)

And then what happened, Uncle Bugs?

Battle of the Century!!!!!

Savage wild puppy versus alien ice monster!

Morton's Christmas Card #9

Santa! Santa! It's Morton! Over here! Over here!

Morton's Christmas Card #8

Morton got exactly what he asked for! EXACTLY!

Morton's Christmas Card #7

A hint, in case you haven't gotten Morton his present yet. Morton is an art lover.

Morton's Christmas Card #6

This is the album cover for our Christmas duets CD "Morton Sings Stuff With The Happy Holiday Monkey."

Morton's Christmas Card #5

You're super right, Mister Orangy!

Morton's Christmas Card #4

And this is the night version. (Morton is down here!)

Morton's Christmas Card #3

Morton's plan is to have a tree that looks Christmas-y in day or night. (This is the day version.)

Morton's Christmas Card #2

This is the basket where Morton normally keeps all his eggs.

Morton's Christmas Card #1

Luckily, Morton carries a string of Christmas lights with him wherever he goes. Just in case.

Secret Crimefighter Morton Captures A Dangerous Supervillain

Using the pink ribbons of justice!

The Monkey Olympics Finally Find A Home

That's one bedroom for each monkey event!

Morton Narrowly Avoids Becoming A Cautionary Tale

This fence is too high and Morton wants lunch. Oh well.

Paradise Is...

A basket full of stinky cheese!

Morton, Paleo-horticulturist

These are totally dinosaur leaves!

As Part Of His Usual Saturday Routine, Morton Gathers The Local Woodland Creatures And Stages A Re-enactment of the Battle of Alesia

Fine. Morton won't be Julius Caesar this time. Morton will be Vercingetorix instead. Is everybody happy now?

For Morton, A Pile Of Leaves Is Actually....

A sleeping mastadon. Shhhh.

Morton Demonstrates His Thesis

See? More monkey is better!

Morton Dispenses Helpful Advice

Your picture needs more monkey in it. Wait!

A Rare Encounter

Ice whales!!!!!

Intrepid Investigator Morton Uncovers Gordon's Latest Nefarious Scheme

He has finally gathered his Xmas tree army of doom! Morton warned you this would happen!

Morton Expounds Upon A Theory

This is the filing cabinet where Santa keeps all his files on naughty children, but there were no naughty children this year, which is why he throwed it away.

Morton Takes Everything To The Extreme

Woo hoo!!!!!!

Morton's Tarzan Game Goes Wrong Surprisingly Quickly This Time

Stop laughing!

Morton Opens A New Business

Open 24 hours! Or longer for really big cars!

Morton Reminisces

Boy, Halloween was great! Wasn't it? It was so great. All that candy. Wow. Just wow.

Then Morton Demonstrates The Secondary Feature Of The Dual Function Mushroom Bed

It makes shade, like a sombrero.