Gordon, Not So Much

Well done, my minion. Well done.

Morton, Shameless Tree Hugger

Don't be afraid, tree friend! No-one will lop you while Morton is here.

Morton Does This All The Time, Except With Giggling

Slow Loris Commando Captured And Held Prisoner By Evil Accordion Players!

Break free, Sonya! Use your slow loris karate chop!

Gordon Senses A Hint Of Sarcasm In His Minion's Suggestion For A Lair

Someone is in for a punching.

The Next Potential Lair Falls Just Short Of Gordon's Expectations

Ohhhh, I see. You expect me to just throw my plasma TV away! Well, I suppose we'll just do cave paintings instead! Won't that be fascinating!

The Minions' Search For Gordon's Evil Lair Starts Out Poorly

Oh, yes. A monkey living in a tree. That's soooo original!

Morton Could Do All Of This, If He Really Wanted

Only faster...times TEN!!!!!

Gordon Gathers His Newfound Minions Of Evil

All together now, Minions! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hawwwww!!!!!!!

When Selecting Evil Minions, Sometimes It's Best To Go With Gut Instinct

I don't know why. I just like the cut of his jib!

Another Candidate Appears In Gordon's Evil Minion Search

Excellent work, future Minion of Evil! Looks like Fido won't be coming back to this park anytime soon!

Gordon Embarks On A Search For Evil Minions To Do His Evil Bidding

The desire to inflict wanton destruction is a must for a minion.

Valuable Secret Monkey Knowledge Revealed!

D'uh!

Morton Fights To The Very Last At Helm's Deep

To my side, sons of Rohan! Draw your swords and crossbows! Raise your shields! Stand fast and let this wave of chaos and destruction be broken on the stalwart rock of your courage! Then cake for everybody! Yay, cake!

Morton Rallies The Champions Of Gondor

Sauron is a poopy-face meany!

Morton Even Has An Ent Name

It takes an hour to say and it rhymes with watermelon.

Morton Has A Gnome Name

Gullymort Pondhopper

Morton Has An Elf Name

Mordinadravill Ghiliallalalaalallalllaaalllaaaaalllidrim