Morton Meets Steve Austin (He Thinks)

He's totally bionic! Morton knows it!

Morton's Amazing Time Chair Works Perfectly!

Morton went all the way back to the Ice Age! And there were sasquatches everywhere!

Morton Is A Way Better Dancer Than Any Old Walrus!

Morton Remains Our Last Bastion Of Liberty

Morton is going to name it Fort Hug-and-Kiss! Or maybe Fort Cinnamon Bun!

Morton's Human Cannonball Experience Does Not Go According To Plan

Because (ouch) Morton is (ow) a monkey (ow ow ow) not a human (ow!) and because Morton (ouch) is a monkey, not a (oof) cannonball.

Morton Likes To Kick Back And Discuss The Burning Issues Of The Day

And then...and then...Morton went to PARIS! He DID!

Au Revoir!

(Sniff!) Adieu!

For The Rest Of The Afternoon, Morton Puts The Eiffel Tower's Famous Space Cannon To Good Use

Pew! Pew pew pew! Pew! Evil space goblins, keep away from our stinky cheese! Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew! Pew pew! Pew!

And Yet...

That was EASY!

The Task Feels Slightly More Daunting At The Moment

Morton hopes he doesn't lose his hat.

Morton Only Needs One More Thing To Make His Parisian Adventure Complete

MONKEYBARS!

A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Monkey

And this is where they first printed Hamlet Potter, which is about a wizard from Dane Land!

This Mistake Cost Morton Almost An Entire Day

This is the map that will tell Morton where to find Jim Morrison, right?

Perhaps Morton Isn't Quite As Continental He Seems

Morton thinks the can-can is the scariest dance of all time!

A Good Critic Educates As Well As Informs

And the woman is saying, why, yes, stinky cheese is just the best, isn't it? And the man is saying, if I could have stinky cheese two hundred times a day, I would. That's how good stinky cheese is. And the man next to him is eating a lollipop.

Morton, Art Critic At Large

If Morton did a self-portrait, he would be much happier and less watery.

Morton Engages In A Furious Debate

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have had caramel ice cream at all? If Morton eats crunchy peppermints in a forest, does it make a sound? If Morton denies the idea of "self" as a coherent entity and rejects the artificial distinction between speaker and audience as it pertains to New Media in both structuralist and post-structuralist dialectic, will that lead to more cookies?

Morton Begins To Adapt To His Surroundings

Je voudrais du chocolat, s'il vous plait.

European Culture Has Had No Discernible Effect On Morton's Sense of Humour. You've Been Warned.

It's so hot out, Morton may go in Seine! Bwahahahahaaaaaa!!!!

Unfortunately, Morton Read The Wrong Travel Book On The Plane

And, inside the pyramid, they sell iPods!

Morton Dives Into The Parisian Lifestyle With His Usual Gusto

Morton desires sharper onions! And stinkier cheese!

Morton's Situation Takes An Unexpected Turn

Morton is in Paris! See? See? Paris, FRANCE!

Clearly, Morton Needs Another Vacation

That cloud looks like a sad puppy. And that one looks like a sad kitten. And that one looks like a sad sad bunny.

Morton's Disappointments Continue

Hey, little baseball. Are you sad too?

Morton Feels Certain That The Crowd Will Show Up Any Moment Now

Take me out to the ball game! Blah blah blah blah blah blahhhhh. Blah blah blah peanuts and cracker-jacks. Blah blah blah blah blah never get back.

In An Attempt To Cheer Himself Up, Morton Visits His Old Playschool

Darn!

On An Overcast Day, Morton Experiences A Rare Moment Of Introspection

When the monkeys take over, everything will finally make sense.

When It Comes To House Plants, Morton Believes In Super-Sizing

Morton is getting a ficus next. Then a cactus. Then a sequoia for the dining room.

Operation Spring Bloom Begins To Take A Toll

Morton has a headache like you wouldn't believe.

Operation Spring Bloom Continues

Okay, first you and now you and then, hey, over there, you! Yes, you!

Morton Is Determined To Bring Spring Into Bloom All By Himself

Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow!

(puff puff)

Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow! Grow!