Ask Morton

Okay, seriously now, what's the deal with you and Suri Cruise?

Morton loves Suri Cruise best of all!

I know, but why?

Because Morton loves babies! They smell good and Morton likes to kiss them on the head.

But there are lots of babies besides Baby Suri.

And Morton loves them all!

Like who?

Like...like.,.Baby Brangelina Jopitt! And...and Baby Gwynchris Maltrow! And the P. Diddy Babies! And Baby Jadawill Pinksmith!

What about, uh, Baby K-Brit Fedspears?

Who?

Britney Spears' baby.

Ha ha! Silly! His name is Jayden James or Sean Preston!

You seem to spend an awful lot of time thinking about celebrity babies. Aren't there any non-celebrity babies that you love?

All of them!

Like who?

Like...like...like...Bay...bee...Jilljack...Smijones...and...and...Baby Frodittle Mermay-baggins!

You're making those up, aren't you?

No.

What's going to happen when Baby Suri isn't a baby anymore?

Baby Suri will always be Baby Suri!

Well, she just turned one. It won't be too long before she's walking and talking. Then she'll be a little girl, not a baby.

Morton isn't listening.

Come on. All babies grow up. It's part of life.

Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! Morton can't hear you!