Morton Begins Spring Training

Morton would like a hot dog please, with lots of mustard and onions. Hello? MOR-ton would LIKE a HOT DOG with LOTS of MUSTARD and ONIONS!!!! Hel-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Spooooooooooky

Morton is like the Blair Witch, only friendlier and with more candies.

Morton Likes To Hurry Things Along

It's almost May, you lazy buds. Morton wants you to bloom right now! Right now!

Morton Discovers A Slight Flaw In His Toblerone Diet

Morton has throwed up again.

Morton Tries The Toblerone Diet, Because The Name Sounds So European

It's easy! You have one Toblerone for breakfast and another for lunch, then a regular healthy dinner with a Toblerone for dessert. And, between meals, you can have all the Toblerones you want!

Kissing Raindrops Is Thirsty Work

No, it's not!

Famous Archaeologist Morton Uses His Famous Instincts

The elven capital is around here somewhere.