Morton Is, Perhaps, Not The Ideal Spokesmodel For This Product

It burned Morton's mouth and he throwed up right away!

New Year's Plans Are Set In Motion

Luckily, Morton has everybody in the whole world on speed dial.

Morton Sings The Famous Aria From Godzilla: The Opera (lyrics translated from the original Italian)

That was no ICE berg!
It was God-ZILL-ah!
Oh no, God-ZILL-ah!
Where is God-ZILL-ah!
There is God-ZILL-ah!
He's coming to EAT us!

Morton's Favourite Imaginary Christmas Memory (2009)

And then what happened, Uncle Bugs?

Battle of the Century!!!!!

Savage wild puppy versus alien ice monster!

Morton's Christmas Card #9

Santa! Santa! It's Morton! Over here! Over here!

Morton's Christmas Card #8

Morton got exactly what he asked for! EXACTLY!