Midnight Finds Morton In A Sad State

Morton isn't going anywhere until he finds his Tic Tac!

Breaking Monkey Science News

Monkeys (other than Morton) are capable of self-delusion. (Those are Morton's M&M's! They are! They ARE!)

Time To Go Home, Morton

Not until Morton's butt stops hurting!

Meanwhile, Morton Remains Sadly Oblivous To The Terrible Price Of Victory

Everybody look! Morton won! Morton won!

Morton Is Determined To Be Number One

Look, Mister Golf Ball, Morton isn't even using his hands!

Morton Gives Golfing One More Try

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!

Nothing Depresses Morton More Than A Nearly Empty Candy Box

Except a REALLY empty candy box!