Sunday, May 22, 2011

Morton Ruins Shakespeare...Again.

Here's a knocking indeed! If an a monkey were
porter of Candy Gate, he should have old turning the
key. (Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there,
i' the name of the Licorice Man? Here's a little kitten, that lick'd
his cute little paws on th' expectation of plenty. Come in time!
Have napkins enow about you; here you'll sweat for't.
(Knock.) Knock, knock! Who's there, in the other
candy's name? Faith, here's a jelly bean man, that could 
Put a bunch of jelly beans on a scale, who put them in
a little bag for Morton, yet could  not take out the orange
ones that Morton doesn't like. O, come in, Jelly Bean Man.
(Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there? Faith,
here's an English toffee lady come hither, for giving 
Morton hard chewy treats: come in, Toffee Lady; even though
your candies sometimes hurt Morton's teeth. (Knock.
Knock, knock! Never at quiet! What are you? But this place is too 
ymmy looking for Morton. I'll candy-porter it no further: I had
thought to have let in some of all chocolate bar people that have
chocolate treats for Morton. (Knock.)   Anon, anon! [Opens the gate.
I pray you, remember the candy monkey .

Friday, May 20, 2011

Morton Will Wait As Long As Necessary

That's it.  Morton is tired.  Morton is leaving.  Morton is gone, little birds.  You can come out now.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Morton's Philosophy In A Nutshell

Especially for hugs and kisses and tickles and toys.

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Aftermath Was Exactly As Bad As Feared

Morton can't remember his name or where he throwed up.