Morton Will Not Rest Until A Solution Is Found

One of these must be the right end for kissing!

Each Morning, Morton Solemnly Rings The Sacred Temple Bell

Morton made s'mores! Come and get 'em!

After Many Years of Wandering, Morton At Last Returns to the Ancient Temple Where He First Embarked on the Path to Enlightenment

Sensei! Sensei! Morton brought cookies!

And, Just Like That, He Was Gone

"Sometimes I wish he'd come back. There will always be a place for him in fashion. But I know it'll probably never happen. I just hope he's happy, that's all." - Stella McCartney

"Fashion is stupid!"
- Morton

Then Came That Fateful Day

"Someone should've seen it coming. The long hours, the partying, then that disastrous mistake with the fruit necklace and the bees. I guess we all just thought he was fearless and indestructible. We were wrong." - Annie Leibovitz

London, New York, Tokyo, He Seemed Unstoppable

"Oh my goodness, it was all anyone was talking about that season! The monkey, the monkey, the monkey. Everywhere he went, he was like Bianca on the white horse at Studio 54, only bigger, sweetie, much much bigger!" - Isaac Mizrahi

Even In Berlin, They Swooned

"When I gazed into his eyes, it was as though my heart had been pierced by a diamond! Never had I experienced such love, such longing, such irresistible animal passion!" - Donatella Versace

When He Appeared In Milan, There Were Riots In The Streets

"He is so beautiful, at times I want to stab him!"
- Jean Paul Gaultier

On The Runways Of Paris, They Called Him "Le Monkey De L'Amour!"

"He is not today or yesterday or even tomorrow he is beyond time yes I tell you beyond time this is why I must use him because he is transcendent and so when I look at him I think this is what I see now this is what I will see and this is what I have always seen which is a monkey and I am not ashamed of this because this is truth and fashion is truth and Morton is fashion and there I've said it!" - Karl Lagerfeld

And What Was Wesley Doing While Everything Was Going So Terribly Wrong?

Meh.

Honestly Now, Aren't The Two Of You Ashamed Of Yourselves?

No.

Not really.

So Much Trouble Could Be Avoided Right Now, If Only Morton Understood Sarcasm.

Why, yes, Morton. I would loooooove to play! And I have an idea for a brand new game!

Morton Is, Perhaps, A Bit Too Trusting Here

Hi Gordon! Do you want to play hide-and-seek? Or tag?

Reaction To Playing the Totem Pole Game Seems To Vary According To Location

"Hurray!"

"When's lunch?"

"Get off me!"

A New Recruit in the Love Monkey Army Learns His First Important Lesson

Always volunteer for everything!

Thought For the Day

Morton means it! Look at his face! This is Morton's "means it" face!

Morton Uncovers Yet Another Best Song Ever.

Yay! Morton wants to be a hockey monkey too!

Morton Makes An Extra Effort

There, there, Mister Lonely Giant. Morton loves you too!

Morton Loves To Play, But Hates Putting HisToys Away Afterwards

Morton will never play stupid giant croquet again!

Morton Learns Something New Every Day

Robot rules are just like monkey rules, except where it says "obey," monkeys say "love" and where it says "orders," monkeys say "kisses."

Monkey Girl Dances To Strange Monkey Song

Why is the monkey cold? Someone warm up the cold monkey!

Morton Is In Hiding Today (And This Is Why)

Morton's Rules

If it has a face, it must be kissed!

And Here Morton Almost Went A Whole Week Without Making A Serious Error In Judgment

Morton has found the best hide-and-seek place ever!

First, Jurassic Park, Now This

Rarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morton! Do Not Go Into The Light! Do You Hear Me? Morton!

But it's so shiny!

Morton Puts His Acrobatic Skills To Good Use

But why is the monkey the bad guy? All he wants to do is love!

Morton Loves Mister Swimming Tiger. He Does. He Swears!

eep!

Morton Seeks New Lands To Conquer

Look at all the trees! There must be twelve trees out there!

Not Exactly Breaking News

Morton knows every single word by heart! He does!