Morton Nears The Conclusion Of His Great Task

Just a few more lights and Morton will be ready for Christmas!

A Robot Demonstration Of Morton's Plans For New Year's Eve

Morton's Christmas Card #7

Morton: Now Morton understands what was missing! Merry Christmas to everybody!

Gordon: Heh. I'm gonna spit on Morton's cookie when Morton isn't looking. Heh heh.

Wesley: My nose itches.

Morton's Christmas Card #6

A Christmas mystery. These cookies smell like almonds and have sugar frosting, but Morton still feels like there's something missing. Is it possible there's more to Christmas than just almonds and sugar?

Morton's Christmas Card #5

Merry!!!!

X!!!!!

Meh!!!!

Morton's Christmas Card #4

This one is for the day before Christmas and this one is for Christmas Day and that one is for the day after Christmas. Next, Morton will show you the candy canes.

Morton's Christmas Card #3

These aren't pointy at all!

This Could Be A Problem, Come Christmas Morning

Morton wants this soooooo bad!!!!!

There's a mon-key who knows

All that glitters is gold....

Ask Morton

Morton?

Yes.

What are you doing?

Dancing. What are YOU doing?

I want to ask you about the election.

Morton votes for more cookies!

I mean the presidential election. In the USA.

Morton votes for more presidential cookies!

Be serious for a second.

Okay.

Okay. I'm going to give you the name of someone running for president and I want you to tell me what you think of them. Let's start with Barack Obama.

He would give Morton candy, if Morton asked! And tickle Morton's tummy too!

Hillary Clinton.

Her laugh hurts Morton's ears and Morton has to put his hands over his ears until she stops.

Rudy Giuliani.

He eats monkey brains! Morton can tell!

Mike Huckabee.

Hahahaha. Huck-a-BEE! Huck-a-BEEEEE! (Morton will probably never get tired of that!)

John Edwards.

He has too many teeth and probably never eats candy.

Mitt Romney.

He has too many teeth and his hair looks pointy and hard.

Dennis Kucinich.

Morton loves him! He's the same size as Morton and Morton could play with his ears all day long. (Morton is a little afraid of his giant wife though.)

Fred Thompson.

He would give Morton cookies and tell Morton a night-night story every night.

John McCain.

He might hug Morton or eat Morton's brains. Morton isn't sure.

Bill Richardson.

Hugs, cookies, candy, spicy treats!

Joe Biden.

Morton is getting tired now.

Okay, one more then. Ron Paul.

MORTON LOVES RON PAUL!!!!!

Why?

Because, he has a LOVE BLIMP! See?


It spells "L-O-V-E"!

That doesn't seem like the best reason in the world to support someone for president.

Love blimp, love blimp, love blimp, love blimp, love blimp...

Morton?

...blimpy blimpy blimpy blimpy blimpy blimpy blimpy blimpy.... (Morton is doing the Blimp Dance).

Morton Could Totally TOTALLY Do This, If He Really Wanted

And didn't have furry hands.

Morton's Christmas Card #2

The reindeer rodeo is Morton's favourite part of Christmas!

Morton's Christmas Card #1

Seasons Greetings From Frosty the Snowmonkey!

Then, As Quickly As It Began, Morton's Snow Day Ends

Ohhhhh.

Morton Soon Runs Into Complications

It took Morton over an hour to get this far!

Morton's Snow Day Begins Innocently Enough

Morton is going to the park to make a snow angel!

Morton Makes Another Friend At The Dog Rodeo

He likes it when Morton scratches him behind the ears!

Morton Makes A Friend At The Blue Rodeo Concert

Hi, Jim! My name is Morton! Morton plays the tambourine! This song would sound even greater with a little tambourine solo, don't you think?

Morton Oversteps His Bounds

All Morton said was that Gerry Cheevers' lifetime regular season and playoff goals against average was better than Tony Esposito's!

Morton, Sports Enthusiast

From here, they don't look like bears at all! Ha ha ha!

Morton Checks Out The Bean

Does this make Morton look fat?

Morton Learns The Hard Way That He Can't Please Everyone

Four more years! Four more years!

Morton Gets The Word Out

You're next, Oprah!

The "El" Stands For "Love"

Excuse me! Does this train stop at Nuts on Clark?

Morton Indulges Both His Love Of History And Of Oratory

Fourscore and seven kisses ago....

Morton's Midwestern Adventure Begins, Starring Old Brown Eyes Himself

Now this could only happen to a monkey like me
And only happen in a town like this
So may I say to each of you most gratefully
As I throw each one of you a kiss (and another and another and another)

This is my kind of town, Chicago is
My monkey kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of people too (and monkeys)
People who smile at you (and monkeys)

My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of razzma-monkey-tazz
And it has all that jazz (and monkeys)

The Greatest Story Ever Told (According To Morton, Who Hasn't Actually Read It)

Starring Rudy, the Thinking Man's Chimp!

Wesley Presents His Model For Easy Living

Meh, whatever.

Morton Glimpse The Most Terrifying Monkey-verse Of The Future Yet!

Pirate robot monkeys! Run! Run! Run!

Morton Sees A Sign Of The Monkey-verse Of The Future

And then the laughing will never stop!

Morton Gazes Into Another Version Of The Monkey-verse Of The Future

Those monkeys are being too mean! Morton doesn't like this place!

Morton Contemplates The Monkey-verse Of The Future

Is there anything good to eat out here?

One Thing Morton's Whole Family Can Agree On

Morton: Go!!!!!

Gordon: Riders!!!!

Wesley: Meh!!!!!!

Morton...During...

Dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-
dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-dubble-gubble-gobble-
bibble-bobble-blabble-blooble-bleeple-bloople....

Morton...Before...

It's twelve years old and it looks like liquid toffee!

Field Marshall Sancho Mustachio Prepares To Address The Troops

Monkey Under Glass

This happens to Morton every flu season. Just because Morton wants to kiss everybody all the time. Why won't they let Morton love?

At Long Last, Morton Gets The Chance To Express His True Feelings

Morton loves EVERYBODY! This much!

Standing At The Heart Of The Mystical Convergence, Morton Divines The Future

Morton sees roasted almonds on toffee ice cream! And flying cars!

Until Morton Put It On, The Archaeologist Never Realized That The Helmet Was Magical

Morton can see you!

Morton Prepares To Do Battle With His Latest Nemesis

Prepare to hugfight, Ninja Kitty!

Morton Does Not Think This Is Funny! No, He Doesn't!

No. Not one bit!

The Wrong Sign For The Wrong Monkey

Do not climb? But...why...not?

Morton Soooo Could Do This, If He Really Wanted!

Morton Makes A Startling Discovery That Changes Everything

No, wait. That's not cookie dough! Great Caesar's Ghost, those are marshmallow missiles!

Morton Revises His Theory Slightly

Mint chocolate chip cookie dough missile launchers.

Morton Has A Theory

They're cookie dough missile launchers! It's the only explanation!

Morton Senses An Opportunity

Is there anything in there that monkeys might like?

Don't Say You Weren't Warned

Morton: Oh, come on. That doesn't mean you can't give us candy! If you have candy and you don't give it to us, that's teasing!

Gordon: Yes, give us candy. Come closer and give us candy. Sure.

Wesley: Meh.

Midnight Finds Morton In A Sad State

Morton isn't going anywhere until he finds his Tic Tac!

Breaking Monkey Science News

Monkeys (other than Morton) are capable of self-delusion. (Those are Morton's M&M's! They are! They ARE!)

Time To Go Home, Morton

Not until Morton's butt stops hurting!

Meanwhile, Morton Remains Sadly Oblivous To The Terrible Price Of Victory

Everybody look! Morton won! Morton won!

Morton Is Determined To Be Number One

Look, Mister Golf Ball, Morton isn't even using his hands!

Morton Gives Golfing One More Try

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!

Nothing Depresses Morton More Than A Nearly Empty Candy Box

Except a REALLY empty candy box!